Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: Stop being so selfish!

Have you heard the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce? 

Normally, I don't say anything about it. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, especially if they've been divorced or are having marital issues. Today, however, I'm letting it all out. 

I am not an expert, by any means. My parents have been married for almost 29 years. I was lucky enough to grow up seeing a strong, happy marriage. I've been married for 4 years now. The hubs and I have had our share of obstacles to work through, and we've learned more about God's plan for us through those obstacles. I'm really passionate about marriage and helping others learn how to make it work. 

Over the past couple of months, the hubs and I have been working with two different couples who are struggling to make their marriages better. When I talk to these people, I just want to scream, "STOP BEING SO SELFISH!" Egocentric behavior is the most damaging thing in a marriage. When we focus more on our own needs rather than the needs of our spouse, we're essentially saying, "I love myself more than I love you. What I want matters; your opinion doesn't count."

Unfortunately, our culture is highly self-serving, but we can change our way of thinking. We have to focus on the needs of others as much as our own. The Message translation of the Bible says that we should "love others as well as" we love ourselves. In order to love someone as well as I love myself, I have to make sacrifices. Marriages have no chance of survival without sacrifice. 

Quite often, I see couples who say they love each other, but their actions do not support that statement. We all want to love our husbands and wives the best way possible, right? We cannot do that without loving God first. God is love; He created love. He knows what it is and what means more than we can ever understand. We have to learn to love from the Creator of love. Until we learn to love the way that God loves, we will not love our spouses as well as we should. By loving God and growing closer to Him, we love and grow closer to our spouses. 

Marriages don't last unless you're willing to work for them. With some soul-searching, a little faith, and a lot of hard work, all marriages can have a happy ending. 


Shell said...

I completely agree. I've written about it many times- how marriages take work.

If everyone who said I'm not happy... got divorced- the rate would be even higher. Everyone has moments when they don't feel happy.

I'm not talking about serious issues of abuse or major problems, but it seems like people let the small things drive them apart.

Mrs.G said...

I agree 100%.Well said!

Patrice said...

I used to feel the same way, but life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to...divorce is an awful thing and few people plan on it when they get married.

Danielle said...

I agree, Patrice. I think divorce is heartbreaking, and in some cases, inevitable. My frustration right now stems from people who complain about their marriages but do not spend time or effort to make it better. It's hard to sit back and watch!

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