Monday, December 6, 2010

Triumph and Trepidation

As of 4:00 this afternoon, all of my semester assignments have been turned in. I am so incredibly happy to be done. A tremendous sense of JOY and relief overwhelmed me as I walked to my car, leaving the campus library one last time.

I was able to pick up dinner, come home, eat said dinner, and plant myself on the sofa by 6:00. Thoughts were racing through my head.

"Surely there's something I should be doing..."

"Did I add enough student samples to my portfolio?"

"I should re-read my senior thesis...just in case."

"When will I get my portfolio grade? It's not in yet. Something must be wrong."

All of a sudden, it hit me. FEAR.  DREAD. PANIC.
It hit me like a punch straight to the's time to leave college, my comfort zone, my safety net.

School has always been there, and it's something I'm good at. It's been my way of staying safe. So far, I've not had to do anything that really, truly scares me. But this week will be my last of my internship. I'm leaving the familiar faces of my smelly 7th graders, my mentor teacher, my college cohorts, and even my picky professors. 

I have to fly on my own now. It's just me...warts and all. (I don't really have warts, but you get the point.) It's time for me to take the things I've learned over the past few years, put them all together, and try to make something out of it.

 I KNOW that I can be a good teacher. I care about my students, and I have a passion for my content. After December 15, I'm putting those traits to use. 

Job hunting...HERE I COME!

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